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  • Writer's pictureNikki Van Ekeren

When I Can Sense Another’s Pain…

“allowing life to sculpt us into its masterpiece”

don’t overcompensate

for someone

who hasn’t dealt

with their own pain.

and on that note,

don’t feel sorry

for someone

because of their pain.

pain is the ultimate


for change,

for alchemy,

for pure transformation.

give it time.

allow life

to show you 

your potential.

don’t reach for that quick fix.


pain is uncomfortable.

but it is always manageable

when you change your lens

to that of growth.

it’s not about 

comparing stories of pain,

it’s another sharing stories

of how pain became the fuel

to become something better.

it’s truly about

allowing life

to sculpt us

into its masterpiece.


Recently, I have been challenged, and by “recently” I mean by throughout my entire adult life. This challenge has involved the ability to access my eyes of truth in order to navigate through situations that may sway my center.

This is usually brought on by situations involving people who I love the most. By tempting me to revert back to old childlike ways in order to avoid confrontation, I am thrown off. I lose sight of who I am and my purpose. When I was younger, I thought that my purpose was to make others happy. I now know that this is not the case.

I know how it feels to be assertive. I know how it feels when I am not assertive and overcompensate for others. Usually the most confrontational situations occur when I know that someone I love is hurting. They are wrapped up in their own pain; therefore take it out on me. When they project pain onto me, I am left with a decision. Do I react with the same level of pain, or do I take a pause and act in a way that exudes grace? The answer is easy when reflected in this manner, for I am not feeling the sparks of discomfort brought about by this encounter.

It is almost as if my body reacts to the jolt of this pain with a temporary memory lapse. Knowing that this time will pass, it is important to not take severe action. I do not need to absorb their pain nor do I need to fix it for them.

I can continue to live my life knowing that pain is our ultimate sculptor and we are its masterpiece. The pain that my loved one is experiencing will eventually lead to their ultimate transformation. This is the truth. I can always come back to this place of reflection.

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