Nikki Van Ekeren
Unpacking Old Beliefs as They Arise
“unpacking old beliefs as they arise”
it is amazing
how old beliefs
mutate into current situations
over and over again.
it is up to us
to unpack these old beliefs
and dislodge the negative ones.
why am i jealous?
why do i covet what they have?
why do i feel resentful?
whose belief system
am i operating on?
perhaps i was told how
it was unfair that this person had so much
which lead me to form a belief of jealousy.
perhaps i was loved more when i worried.
which lead me to form a belief that
feeling anxiety makes me more lovable.
if i keep asking these questions,
i can unpack stale beliefs
and make room for the new
and fresh ones.
the type of beliefs
that will attract me to
my destined way of living.
Usually I end my blogs with a poem to wrap up my thoughts. Today, I thought that I would begin this entry with a summary of what I am feeling.
Like most of us, I have stored and defended many negative and self limiting beliefs. I think that our minds cling to old ways of thinking as a modality of survival. Something worked once for someone; therefore it should work for me. Or even, this way of living got me love in the past, so it will continue to do so.
Let’s face it, the lineage of those that raised us and our ancestors had problems. And yes, we have problems too. These problems will never cease. It is how one approaches these circumstances that truly define them. We get to do the fun work! We get to read books and learn and look back on what did not work. How lucky are we?!
When I feel a stinging emotion that does not feel like it originated in my psyche, I turn around and face it. Okay, this feels uncomfortable, but what is my alternative - numbing it away or ignoring it? No. These are both horrible options. I need to be honest with myself. I am currently feeling this icky feeling in my body. It is here regardless of why or how. I am not going to blame my parents or society or the media. I am going to take responsibility for this feeling.
Well, I am breaking the cycle. I am changing up the way I react to discomfort in my body. This is huge! I am learning and growing in real time. This is my opportunity to step forward and take a chance and lead with my heart. Perhaps my ancestors did not live in an environment where they could do so. I get to and take this gift with so much honor.
So, the next time that you feel woeful that you are feeling jealous or angry or resentful, do not run from these emotions. Sit with them. Learn from them. Have an open dialogue with yourself. Journal about what you hear. Take some time to take care of yourself in whatever means you find necessary.
Take this bottled up energy and use it as fuel to soar. It is your time to do so.