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  • Writer's pictureNikki Van Ekeren

How to Put Relationships First

This poem pretty much sums up my ongoing journey integrating this intention.

“putting relationships first”

when i shifted

my focus

from outcome

to relationships,

my life changed.

i was able to

see what matters the most.


people matter.

it’s funny

how life

can fool you

into thinking that you are

on your own

or that you have to do

it all yourself.

when i began to see the people

around me

as comrades

rather than competition,

they acted as such.

the relationship mindset

elevated my life

to new heights.

intention truly

is everything.


Just recently I asked myself what makes me the happiest in life?

My immediate answer was my relationships with others.

Having people in my life that I trust is everything. (Having people in my life that I can laugh with and lip sync songs with is equally as epic.) After hearing this answer surface from within, I had to ask myself a followup question. How am I nurturing my relationships? Does my community know how much they mean to me?

If you are like me and relationships are at the core of your foundation, it is your gift to nourish them. Be proactive. Call someone today. Text that old friend. Set up a coffee date. Send a heart emoji to your gal pal. Call your sister. Connecting with people creates a spark like nothing else does.

How to put relationships first:

1. Set the intention to do so. Begin by observing yourself and how you navigate situations.

2. Cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself. This primary relationship will drive every other one you have.

3. Be honest with yourself. Have you hurt others in order to get ahead? How does this feel?

4. Stop numbing yourself with external measures in order to not feel. Experience the emotional highs and lows of building relationships.

5. Admit your weaknesses. Is it hard for you to trust? Is it hard for you to see others as supportive? Accept where you are at now and move forward with no judgement.

6. Set the goal to collaborate on a project in the near future. It could be an at home project with your partner or a large business venture, just set out to create something new with someone else.

7. Don’t forget step #1. Intentions take time to set in. Give yourself time and a safe space to grow.

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